Tag Archives: Sex Education

Condoms: Why are we still embarrassed about using them?

A new restaurant promoting safe sex and condom use has opened in the UK, but many people are still too embarrassed to even buy them – why?

As sex education goes, it’s pretty unconventional. Cabbages and Condoms is a Thai restaurant chain that serves food along with contraception. The name says it all.

Condoms are handed out to customers instead of after-dinner mints and each restaurant is covered in them – literally. Lights and walls are adorned with condoms, artworks are even made out of them.

All profits go into sex education and Aids prevention programmes in Thailand. Now it has opened its first branch outside Thailand, in the Oxfordshire town of Bicester.   Of all the towns in all the world, it’s not an obvious choice but in the UK many people are still too embarrassed to buy condoms in public and can’t even talk about sex “in a normal way”, say sex education charities.

So why are so many of us still so uncomfortable when it comes to condoms?

This awkwardness is enshrined in British popular culture. Songs like House of Fun by Madness sum up the awkwardness many feel when trying to buy condoms, with such lines as: “A toothbrush and hairspray, plastic grin. Mrs Clay on the corner has just walked in.”

Britain is a sexualised society where adult shops like Ann Summers can be found on many High Streets and condoms and lubricants of any number of flavours, textures and smells can be bought at your local chemist.

A survey by Fusion Condoms found 56% of people surveyed, were embarrassed to buy them. When it came to men, 54% got red faced while 57% of woman did.

Sexual health charities agree embarrassment is still a big issue for many people.

“We’re still so British about sex and condoms, many people find it easier to have sex rather than to talk about it,” says Genevieve Edwards, executive director of health improvement at the Terrence Higgins Trust.

“It’s a population-wide issue, something that doesn’t really change whatever sex or age. Buying condoms is a public declaration that you want sex and many people still aren’t comfortable with that.”

James, 48, from Surrey, is a successful businessman but still feels very awkward when buying condoms.

Figures at Cabbages and Condoms are covered with condoms. Image credit: Getty Images

“Let’s just say self-service tills have made life a lot less stressful,” he says.

“I will always use them rather than dealing with a person. I think my unease is something that lingers from my youth. Back then condoms and talking about sex were not done.”

The embarrassment factor has helped online retailers. The sellers range from commercial operations like Johnnys in a Jiffy to the NHS retailer Freedoms Shop.

In the four years since it was set up, myCondom.co.uk has seen sales increase month-on-month.

But customers still demand discretion. This can be for several reasons and embarrassment is one of them, says managing director Alex Green.

“A large part of the business is niche condoms,” he says. “We sell a lot of small-sized condoms and it’s obvious why someone might not want to buy them in a shop.

“Even online, people are still very concerned about avoiding embarrassment. We get a lot of enquiries about our packaging, some customers even ask for photos of what their order will be sent in.

“We use plain packaging because people make it very clear they don’t want something advertising what’s inside.

“We also get queries about what company name will appear on bank and credit card bills.

The British have a “strange range” of attitudes when it comes to condoms. It ranges from the absolute brazen to the acutely embarrassed and a lot more in between, says psychotherapist Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

“Buying condoms means you are having to be absolutely explicit about something many people want to be implicit about. You are having to admit you are planning to have sex or want to have it.”

Talking about using condoms is also something people struggle with, again regardless of age, according to the FPA (Family Planning Association).

It’s figures shows 61% of people find talking about condoms with a new sexual partner a difficult conversation to have. Of those, 70% find it embarrassing and 36% say it makes them less likely to use a condom.

Health professions say the obvious way to overcome this is better sex education in schools.

While some schools are doing a good job, others aren’t, and this means young people are often getting their information in the playground or on the internet.

“We all know the quality of that information,” says Edwards.

Hodson says condoms are just part of what young people need to be taught.

This condom, dating from the early 19th Century, is made of animal gut and is seen here with waxed paper envelope packaging

Even after the introduction of rubber condoms, some – like this late 19th century example – were still being manufactured from caecal membrane and silk

This rubber sheath, still in its original 1940s packaging, is made of “one piece of soft pliable rubber” and is designed to be reusable

This packet of one latex condom was issued to British troops on active service during WWII, and “withstands all climates”

“They need to be at ease dealing with them, but with that they also need to be taught that sex is powerful and can be an overwhelming thing and they need to think about what they are doing. All of that needs to be taken into account.

“We also need to get to parents and teach them how to talk to their children about sex.

“We need to get across that just because their children are educated about it and how to use a condom it doesn’t mean they are going to go out and have loads of sex.”

He says other countries, like Holland, are able to talk to young people about sex in a natural way, “without sniggering like the British often do”.

Katherine, 17, from Essex, says teenagers do talk about condoms, but nearly always in a joking way.  ”I’m more likely to be hit in the head with a condom filled with water or get one taped to a birthday card than have a serious conversation about them,” she says.

“Young people tend to hide behind humour and make things funny so they’re not embarrassed.

“If you do need one you ask a close friend, you don’t often buy them. We’re given a lot of free condoms at safe sex talks. It saves embarrassment and money.”

In the Fusion survey it was 16 to 19 years olds who found buying condoms the most embarrassing – 65% of those asked said they found it difficult. But so did 57% of people between the ages of 20 and 30, and 50% of those aged over 31.

It shows people of all ages need just as much support as teenagers when it comes to sexual health, says Dr Audrey Simpson of the FPA.

“The problem is that we are preoccupied with the sexual behaviour of the young and consequently thirtysomethings are a forgotten generation in sexual health,” she says.

“They received little sex and relationships education at school but grew up in an increasingly sexualised society. They’ve had to find the confidence themselves to talk about condoms and learn the hard way.

“It’s not surprising that people can feel it’s easier not to use a condom than put themselves through the torture of talking about a subject they feel deeply uncomfortable about.”

At least in Bicester, embarrassment apparently hasn’t stopped people eating at the town’s new condom-themed restaurant.

Original Article via BBC Magazine

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Sex education: we should teach young people about more than the mechanics

Sex education: too much emphasis on the mechanics, says Doortje Braeken, who argues for more teaching about sexuality. Photograph: David Levene (The Guardian)

Sex education polarises opinion, sets legislators against parents and parents against schools and regularly inflames media opinion. Somewhere in the middle sit young people: ill-served, receiving confused messages and gaining their information from famously unreliable sources, such as peers or the internet.

Sex education, as all too many experience it, is like teaching people how to drive by telling them in detail what’s under the bonnet, how the bits work, how to maintain them safely to avoid accidents, what the controls do and when to go on the road. It’s all about the mechanics. And that’s it.

There’s a growing consensus that young people don’t need sex education, they need comprehensive sexuality education or CSE..  CSE is sex education plus: the mechanics, plus a lots more about sexuality.

That means not just teaching young people about the biology of sex, but also teaching them about the personal, emotional, societal and cultural forces which shape the way in which they choose to conduct their lives. Armed with this understanding, young people can make far more considered decisions.

This approach has the potential to unite the warring factions that bicker over the fundamental rights and wrongs of sex education: CSE equips young people with basic biological knowledge, but at the same time it equips them to question why they act in certain ways, and whether or not it is right, valuable or desirable to do so. CSE imparts information, and promotes responsibility.

CSE contains components which allow learners to explore and discuss gender, and the diverse spectrum of gender identities that exist within and between and beyond simple heterosexuality. It also contains components that examine the dynamics of power in relationships, and individual rights.

These are not taught as theoretical concepts. They have serious practical effects on the way in which young people interact with each other, both in the sexual and the wider social and educational spheres. Studies have shown that addressing such issues can have a marked impact both in school and the expansion of young people’s social networks.

CSE also engages with what some doubtless regard as difficult territory. Sexuality – however, individually, we choose to regard it – is a critical aspect of personal identity. The pleasure that we derive from sexuality, even if that pleasure is the pleasure of feeling that a reproductive duty is being fulfilled, is a vital part of our lives: it’s what makes us human. CSE views sexuality as a positive force.

CSE exploits a variety of teaching and learning techniques that are respectful of age, experience and cultural backgrounds, and which engage young people by enabling them to personalise the information they receive.

What is most telling is that a large number of studies have reached the clear conclusion that CSE does not lead to earlier sexual initiation or an increase in sexual activity. To paraphrase, traditional sex education seems to say: “If you’re going to do it, this is how everything works and you need to protect yourself in these ways to prevent this.” CSE says all that, but it also asks young people to ponder what exactly “it” is, and to deepen their perception of its implications.

In a political environment which is quantitatively driven, we measure the success of sex education in straightforward health behaviour indicators. These are easy to manage: numbers which build on existing health surveillance and measurement systems, and which are simple to understand from an objective point of view.

However, CSE is a far more nuanced discipline, and it will be necessary to include other measures of programme success: qualitative, subjective indicators which relate to gender equity, empowerment and critical thinking skills.

While governments have recognised young people’s right to CSE via various intergovernmental resolutions and conventions, the journey from recognition to delivery will be a long one. Even in the UK, there are notable differences, with England having a bare-bones biological approach “puberty, menstruation, contraception, abortion, safer sex, HIV/Aids and STIs should be covered”, while Wales and Scotland have curriculums which incline far more towards the CSE agenda.

The International Planned Parenthood Federation, the organisation I work for, and its 153 member associations around the world, has been instrumental in pressing for the adoption of international policy commitments to CSE. For many, it may seem like we are pushing 10 steps ahead of the agenda when the basic principle of young people’s right to even the most basic introduction to the biology of sex is still not universally accepted.

Our view is different: it is that CSE is what will secure widespread acceptance of sex education, because it is about more than the mechanics of sex. It is about helping young people, the world over, to become more healthy, more informed, more respectful and more active participants in the life of their community and their nation.

Doortje Braeken is the IPPF’s senior adviser on adolescents and young people, responsible for co-ordinating programmes in 26 countries implementing a rights-based approach to youth friendly services and comprehensive sexuality education. She will be among the panellists for a live discussion on sex and sexuality education, taking place on the SocietyGuardian site from noon to 2pm on Thursday 31 May

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How Good is Sex Education in Schools?

A new report says that young people find their sex and relationship education lacking.  So what can be done to improve it?

A school nurse giving sex education advice to year 10 students at a school in Devon Photograph: Marc Hill / Alamy/Alamy

There was definitely a sense, says 19-year-old Andre Anderson, that the sex education teachers at his secondary school “viewed us as ‘just kids’ and thought ‘they shouldn’t be doing it, so they don’t need to know’. They tell you how a baby is made, but there were loads of teenage pregnancies around so we knew that. The media teaches you a lot about sex, but it’s like education tries to hide it from you.”

With experiences like this, it’s hardly surprising that a new study commissioned by Brook, the sexual advice service for young people, found nearly half of secondary-school pupils find their sex and relationship education (SRE) lacking, while just 6% of young people said they got the information about relationships they need from SRE lessons.

Shockingly, the study of more than 2,000 14- to 18-year-olds revealed that worrying myths still prevailed: 59% have heard that a woman can’t get pregnant if the man doesn’t ejaculate inside her, 33% have heard that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex and a quarter of young people have heard you can only catch HIV if you are gay. Meanwhile, one in four pupils get no SRE in school, and a quarter of those who do say they don’t think it is taught well.

Simon Blake, national director of Brook, isn’t surprised. “We are told by the young people who access our services it is too little, too late, too biological,” he says. “And what they really want is emotions, real life dilemmas and much more about relationships.”

Is it a peculiarly British affliction to be so inept when it comes to talking about sex? “We certainly do have a British approach to young people and this topic unfortunately does still get politicised, rather than it just being another area of learning.”

You only have to look at the controversy whipped up by groups such as the Christian Institute, whose recent report Too Much, Too Young complained that children were being shown “explicit” images in primary school sex education, or the Conservative MP Nadine Dorries’ recent bill to teach abstinence in schools – but only for girls – to see what a battleground SRE can become. And in the meantime, say organisations such as Brook, sex education is patchy and young people rely on their friends for information (while frighteningly, the study shows, 5% — around the same level who learn most from asking their parents – of it comes from internet porn).

Brook’s research follows a study published, last month, which found a rise, over the last two years, in the number of 16- to 19-year-olds having unprotected sex with a new partner. In that survey, 19% of young women, and 16% of young men, said they had not received any kind of sex education in school. And last year, the Health Protection Agency reported record levels of the numbers of STIs, with two thirds of the cases in young women.

It is compulsory for schools to teach the biology of reproduction, but not sex and relationships education, although government guidance is that they should as part of personal, social and health education (PHSE). “There isn’t enough curriculum time, and because it is not compulsory, sex education classes are largely left to chance,” says Blake. “We hear all the time that teachers would like to teach it better but they don’t have the training and support to do so.”

He thinks it is ridiculous that there is any controversy about sex education in primary school. “[Those lessons] are not about teaching them about sex, it’s teaching them about body parts, relationships, teaching them about being a boy or a girl, how to be nice to each other. It is shocking that there are girls starting their periods without anybody explaining it to them.”

To counteract this, Brook is launching a campaign to encourage teenagers to have their say about SRE teaching, and will present the findings to the Department of Education, which is conducting a review of PSHE, due to be published later this year.

Sophie Wilson, 17, remembers a couple of SRE lessons in primary school, then a couple during her first years in secondary school. “Those were mostly about different STIs and condoms, but there wasn’t a lot about what to do if you got an STI. There was nothing about different relationships like same-sex.” It wasn’t until she was 17 that there was a lesson on how to get tested for an STI. It would be useful, she says, if lessons could cover wider issues, such as rape or abusive relationships too.

Wilson says her SRE didn’t prepare her for adulthood. Most of the information about sex she has got comes from “my friends, from general things that have happened to them. The Sex Education show [on Channel 4] was good because it was quite direct. I guess it’s just stuff I’ve heard around.” The danger of that, she acknowledges, is you don’t know how reliable it is. “The other danger is people might think they should just get [sex] over with and see what happens and learn from experience.”

For more information see brook.org.uk

Original Article by Emine Saner at The Guardian

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HIV Education Fails To Reach A Quarter Of Young People

A quarter of young people are not learning about HIV and AIDS, the Sex Education Forum has found.

A survey of 800 young people carried out by the forum, part of the National Children’s Bureau, also found that nearly half of the respondents felt they had not learned all they needed about the infection.

The House of Lords HIV and AIDS in the UK select committee is currently undertaking an inquiry into the adequacy of public education about HIV and AIDS. Giving evidence at the inquiry last week, schools minister Nick Gibb said it was “unforgivable” that children are not taught about the condition.

Learning about HIV and AIDS and other sexually transmitted disease is compulsory for all maintained secondary schools.

Jane Lees, chair of the Sex Education Forum, said: “We urge schools to build learning about HIV and AIDS into a planned programme of sex and relationships education with regular lessons taught by trained teachers. Families also have a huge role to play. Through talking about HIV and AIDS more openly we can lift the taboo and ensure that every child and young person receives their entitlement to vital information.”

For some young people questioned, education about HIV and AIDS had been limited to a one-off event such as a half hour lesson in the final year of secondary school or an assembly to mark World AIDS Day. Young people said they wanted to see more time allocated on a regular basis to the subject and a wide range of sex and relationships education topics.

Almost three-quarters (73 per cent) of young people said they had talked about HIV and AIDS with friends and a third had discussed the subject with a parent or carer.

One young respondent said: “Just because we are afraid of the way AIDS can affect our lives doesn’t mean we need to hide it under the rug. Speaking about it will keep knowledge up. And with that knowledge comes the power to help ourselves.”

Source: http://www.cypnow.co.uk/Education/article/1073066/HIV-education-fails-reach-quarter-young-people/

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